job search status
so as some of you may know I have been commuting 150 miles round trip to work each day. I would imagine this is shocking to some people and no bother to others. its been almost a year and honestly I have gotten pretty used to it. I wake up at 4:45am and I roll out of bed somewhere around 5:10-5:20am (depending on the morning), I hit the road about 5:40-5:50am and get to work at about 7am and then I leave work at 3:30pm and get home about 5:00pm.
Its no lie its a long day and it costs me about $25 a day in gas and tolls. So it isn’t really a desirable situation but I have been with my company for over 5 years. Before I moved I lived 5 miles from work. My mom and family still live in the area of my job and its awesome when I decide (roughly once a week or once every other week) to stay up and visit with family and friends cause I get out at 3:30pm and get to see those I miss and used to see all week long (when I was longing for my honey).
When we bought the house I started looking for work in the area but the pay is significantly less in the area so I said I would def keep my job until after the wedding (which was in June). Once we got settled after the honeymoon I started pounding the pavement, posting my resume on monster, career builder, etc. and looking and asking around for work. I hadn’t got so much as a bite or a nibble on anything I pursued. I danced around going back to school for a degree or a certification, but there’s not too much that would be compatible with my schedule.
So I recently got an email from an old professor/former co-worker of mine (who vaguely knew my situation) informing me that a contact of his was looking to fill a position at company ( I am well aware of and actually applied to on 3 separate occasions since I graduated college) which is about 30-35 minutes away from my home (great right?). He gave me some pointers and after much anguish* I sent in my resume. I hadn’t heard anything in about a week and then I get an email last night asking when I can come in for an interview. Again after much anguish I replied that I could come in next Wednesday. Now I haven’t heard back but I think it is fair to say this man will meet me and it is very possible that he will offer me a position, maybe the one he is interviewing for or maybe another (the company is expanding so there may be other positions that need to be filled). This is almost a miracle right? How perfect but I am stressing about every detail like you wouldn’t belive. I didn’t sleep a wink last night after I read that he infact wanted to meet me. Isn’t this what I had wanted? Well yes and no.
This company is probably about 10 times the size of the half assed place I work for now. I would be going basically from mom and pop shop (that happens to pay me quite well) to nearly corporate company that probably won’t pay me as much and I may possibly have twice the work load. How so you make these decisions?
It was easy to decided to move and hour and a half away from my work because I was gaining a life with my husband in our own house is a nice neighborhood of a nice town near the beach and my best friend. I knew that one day I would have to give up my job and that will probably be the hardest part of this move. But I am having a more difficult time with it then what I thought.
It doesn’t help that I feel partially responsible that my mom is selling her house of almost 30 years to move into an apartment because she can’t afford to live there alone, now that I have moved. She certainly doesn’t need such a large space for just herself but it was hard enough leaving her on her own now getting her ready for this is just going to be so emotionally and physically exhausting. I am so scared to start a new job as it is, with all this its nearly making me mad just thinking about it and all the boxes of crap my mom keeps on dropping off to me of stuff (from the past 30 years) that I may want or she wants but won’t have room for in her new place, that are piling up in my garage.
I am so comfortable here and work and a lot of me knows that’s not for the best. I certainly haven’t been giving my all for probably over a year. Its sad but I kinda gave up a little here with all the workplace drama and dealing with my move, house, wedding etc.
*Mostly this anguish is coming from the fact that I scared. I am so scared to meet new people and have to learn all over the ins and outs of a company. I am so scared I won’t be able to do a good job. I am just in fear of this. There are so many things I fear I could list them all, but ones that top the list are meeting and dealing with new people, being looked at and evaluated, and having to wear nicer clothes to work ( I currently wear old jeans and tees).I know I will have to change jobs eventually and I know that this could actually be really good but I am so scared. Scared to tears and the worst I think will be telling my current employer. I just don’t think I can.
How will I do that? We have become a family here, mildly dysfunctional yes, but a family nonetheless. I will be an emotional wreck. Everyone is telling me to not get too far ahead of myself but I just really feel all of this coming on.
The positive things I can think about that maybe able to come of this new closer more corporate position are; being able to go to the gym in the morning with hubs (depending on the new hours but with less then half the commute I have now it will be much easier to squeeze it any way), not sitting on my butt for 12 hours a day, maybe we can finally get that doggy because I won’t be out of the house for so many hours a day, and possibly better health benefits?
In any case, wish me luck internet and send me your advice for interviewing and starting a new job. I will need your support.
Much love.
